Can't sing, but it's 2008.....who cares anymore?

I love CIara and her none singing ass! She killed it here with CB! Now he can actually hold a note when he decided to sing!

Dance is my life and these m'fers did that shit!~

I got a problem..............

YES, MY READERS ARE EXPANDING! i AM SO GRATEFUL AND HOPE MY BLOG ONLY GROWS! oNCE AGAIN FEEL FREE TO DROP ME A COMMENT AT ANY TIME! i LOVE FEEDBACK.........

I'm no saint, but the last two years of my life have been without the extra attention in the bedroom. I know I know, I'm only 18 which means I started fucking at a very young age of 15, but oh well, to each is on! (or wateve the hell that saying is LOL!) Mid-March 2006 is the day I decided to stop the sex and truly love and respect me! Let me say if your one to indulge in NSA(no-strings attached)activities, there is nothing wrong with that and I am not one to pass judgement on anyone! Shit, back in my younger days (even though I'm barely legal, LOL) I was one firm believer in getting the cat scratched whenever I felt the need, no matter who does the scratching! You know how the hoe stage goes! Anyway.......to stop the rambling.............something just clicked with me and I told myself no one else would have me unless I had them. I decided(GO check SOlange's new single,it's beyond cute) that I must have a deep connection, mentally and physically, with a man who I can see myself spending an eternity with. My soul mate or close to it would be the next one to take me! It's been two years and this philosophy has held up, but a familiar face is starting to crack it down and I mean quick!

We will call this guy, dimple, because his fucking dimples give it to me all the damn time! Back in late April, I saw this guy in the club who I remember from my previous high-school. I mean dude is a hot fucking commodity! Swag, Style, and Looks are all on point! My true American Boy! Any who, I saw him and we exchanged looks and looks and more looks until I got this random boldness(encouraged by some shots of everclear and fruit punch) to walk over to him and whisper in his ear "You know I been wanting to fuck you since 9th grade right?" Yes, I said that I can't believe lil ole me said it either! But he was taken back and was like 4real! and I said yes, danced on him, and reached in his pocket and inserted them digits under my name!~ Minutes later~the club closed and I called it a night! We talked the rest of that morning, saw him the next day but we exchanged a hello and that was it~ so we talk on the phone for like a week, see him at the club again, say hello and dance one song and once again that was all! So the next week we don't really converse on the phone much, but one day I bluntly asked him, how many people was he talking to (I mean he is something and I have had friends who have told me that he is one to have a large sum of prospects), so I knew if he said nobody or only me, he was a Donner and I would have lost all contact with his lying ass, but he said three people, including me! WOW! right, so fast forward to that weekend were we see each other again at the club and a hello, but no dance and his groupies doing what the do best was the entire night!

Fast Forward to late May aka my graduation night, we had talked like 2 more times and nothing really popped off, and then that night we dance and that's it until this past weekend. After that dance I texted him telling how much I wanted to have him in me, but I don't think I could give away 2 years like that! No response! The blunt bitch I am, I said Fuck Dimples! I'm not one to get stuck on a nigga cuz they cum and go to quickly to get hung up!......................

Okay I'm finished with the back story that allows you to understand the next portion and change of tone of this blog!

..................so this past Saturday my friend texts me and says that Dimples wanted to know if I was ready to fuck! Clearly I was applaud! Ain't no nigga just gone disrespect me like that after I was done with his weak ass! I go to a friend's farewell downtown and as we are leaving I get a call from Dimples! Yes this nigga called me after all this time, and even after his disrespectful comment! So he asks if I was going to the club that nite and suggested that he would met me up there and kick it with me that nite! Get to the club and he greets me with an amazing *hug*. The shows got boring so I go to sit down with my friends and him and his friends sit across from us! What nerve right? Wrong, it was so cute! A bitch had to pee after them shots of grey goose and it seemed that Dimples and the crew had went back to watching the shows so I ducked out to the bathroom.! I come out the stall and what do you know, my little friend was there washing his hands! I make some little smart comment which turns into a life-changing, 2-hour conversation and possibly the start of a new relationship................................

part 2 coming soon!

YES!

I'm loving this Bitch right now! Britney! Okay this female is beyond crazy, but this Blackout Album is on point! Okay Okay, I do know that it is not real vocals or music, but it just has something about it that makes me wanna listen more and more each time I hear a track! My fav is definetely BREAK THE ICE! The Hoe so crazy they had to use a damn cartoon just to shoot the video! A damn shame!


Break the Ice





Radar






Toy Solider



Sorry, I couldn't get the real Break the Ice video due to users having it locked!

Until next time...............PEace out Bitches!

Crushes~

SO, my friends say I crush so hard and quickly and like days later it all disappears! and yes, it seems that it's true!

I met this guy at my graduatition( I actually already knew him through myspace, but we had never really met)and damn he was fyne ass hell! His cousin graduated with me and we made eye contact and I still had his number so I texted him and we talked for like a week and decided to go out and chill!

So we go out and chill and things get heated! Led to me giving my first j/o-hand job! I'm so embrassed, but he was so phyne that I wanted to do more-but I don't have sex-that's another post in itself! And anyway we kiss and I drop him back off at home and we talk and then I go out with some of my friends!

The next day we still converse, but not as much, then days later it became less and less! And just the other day he goes off on me about my complaining about not having a boyfriend, but I stopped talking to him and he was potential! He went on to say that it was my fault that I was single and I do this stuff to myself!

I do feel part of what he was saying was true, but the reason I kinda got resistance in my convos with him was due to me realizing that he wasn't what I want! I mean he is definitely a 9 in looks,body, and below the belt, but I'm more than that! He is smart, but he still has one more year of school left and I Just graduated! And I'm free to be out until I please and he still has adults to answer to continously! I mean, where I'm from it is extremely rare to find guys who I like, but I don't think lowering my standards for them is such a good idea!

He actually just called and I didn't answer! I wanna break the news to him, but I don't know how to do so without losing our friendship and our possible future! Oh this sucks!

Until next time...............Peace Out Bitches!

The Prices We Pay-Get to know me a little!

Life has its challenges and rewards, but the prices we pay to endure both can take huge tolls on our continuously growing bodies, minds, and souls. I am one who can truly attest to this. As most of you know, my high school career has been one of city-wide shame and embarrassment, development of the growth of my comfort zone, and a senior year full of feats that other students can only dream about. Each one of these points in my life have come with a price.

Having thousands of school-aged teenagers know your mistake is not a good feeling. On top of that disappearing into a place that completely shuns you from the outside world only worsens the current situation. Some of you may know, but for those of you who do not here it is. I was never kicked out of my first high school, my parents removed me and sent me to a behavioral center for attempted suicide and extreme depression. Yes, I was there for about a month. No I was not at home or hiding away from school. I was in a place that did not allow me to have any communication with anyone besides my parents who came to visit me once a week. Just imagine how hard those months were for me. I left my English class to suddenly go to the office which would be the beginning of my life turning upside down. My parents did what they had to do to protect me, their reputations, and theirs and my sanity. Although going to a place like that may have been one of the worst experiences of my life, I now realize that it inadvertently worked in my favor. Today I am sane and focused, but the price I had to pay tore away at my soul and will never be forgotten.

Today our guest speaker at one of my many extra-curricular activities' graduations encouraged us to grow our comfort zones. This piece of advice resembles how I try to live my life, but it is continuously proven to be something that everyone can not understand. I have friends of all backgrounds and beliefs, but that prevents me from having real and true friends. Being of extreme objectivity about how others choose to map out their life and choices, I do my best in extending everyone an invitation of friendship or my ears to listen to their struggles. Although I do this with great pleasure there are more times that the invitation is left out in the dry and people shy completely away for me unless I can help answer a question about their homework. So many have not come to the same understanding that I have about the importance of always expanding your comfort zone. Since people are afraid of those who differ from them or envy those who have the balls to be themselves and not conform to the average teenage Joe, people like me, open-minded and just individuals, get left with nothing. Not conforming and being acceptable has opened numerous doors for me to build an international network that will only help me later in life, but the price I pay of not having a local network is something that tears away at me day after day.

This year has blessed me with more than enough. Back in July I had the chance to experience an all expense paid trip to a journalism conference in Miami, Florida. While there I was honored as the "Best Camper," an award for someone who embodied a pure spirit to learning and passion for the job of journalism. About two months later I was honored as the only city schools recipient of an award sponsored by the National Civil Rights Museum and International Paper. During this ceremony I got to meet Magic Johnson and the only woman President in the entire continent of Africa. A month later I was featured in the paper for being an Academic All Star. With this award I received money from the bank and a 1/4 page spread in Sunday's paper. Move on to second semester and the chance to travel to Turkey happens and my life becomes even more enjoyable. Istanbul is one of the most beautiful places I have ever studied and lived. After a day of returning home and unpacking I then had to repack and head off to Washington DC for a highly respectable conference and award. While there I connected deeply with about 101 other students who feel the same as I do about the field of journalism and how important it is to have in our society. To continue a year of happiness I received a paid internship to work with a top news station over the next four years. This will be a job that will only help grow my journalism person in addition to my everyday life self. Lastly is the letter I received that informed me that my entire college education will be paid for in addition to my study abroad experiences and even more perks. Although all of this sounds and is great news it does not come with its' consequence. Do you know how many times I wish I could be just one of the guys or looked at as an average teen. So many students come to me only to discuss academics, but neglect to acknowledge that there is more to me. Losing friends and friendships that have been in existence since forever due to your constant name in the spotlight. Spending your entire high school career single because most think that you have it in your mind that there not good enough for you or people always saying he is too busy and does not want somebody like me! I do not apologize for any of my astonishing accomplishments, but the price I pay of having few to turn to is one that tears me apart more and more and more.

As I review my last four years, I can say I am damn proud of myself and have no regrets about any moment of it. I have learned how to accept my failures and how to not continue to make them. I have learned how to understand others and enjoy them for who they choose to be. I have also learned to be confident in myself and continue to push myself to reach a new definition of success's each and everyday. But through this all, the prices I have paid and will continue to pay are continuously raising, but my salary to afford them always is raising five times more.

First Question of the day:
What are the prices you have paid and is your salary enough to afford the ones that lay ahead of you?